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Emotional control is not numbness. It's your greatest asset.

Updated: Mar 9, 2019

Emotional control doesn’t mean numbness. Indeed, emotional control stops us from being either impulsive or self-destructive with negative emotions. Emotional control places self-mastery at the forefront of personal development. Our thoughts guide our negative emotions that precede our positive thoughts. By refocusing on this thought process, you empower yourself to develop self-mastery. By consistently exercising your self-mastery, you have the will to execute any immediate goal. Putting it another way, your positive emotions, like life-enhancing passion, fuel your productive thoughts and emotions to sublimate negative tendencies to choose the right behavioral choice. Moreover, clear well thought out thoughts trigger emotions which manifest and harness disciplined behaviors, based on a series of well-chosen decisions.

Mastering emotional control gives you the skill to make objective choices in your life, so that it won’t descend into personal nor professional chaos. We always have choice. Lacking emotional control, we lose all real choices. However, when we exercise emotional control, and are able to see things calmly and clearly, we add to our tray choices to match any situation.

In order to be self-aware, we must not be hindered by the past nor worry about the future. All we have is in the present. Focus on the present. The past is just a tool where we can reflect on life lessons learned. The future is shaped by the present. Logic and positive emotions--applied to the past, present, and future -- provide the self-aware framework for stability. Conversely, negative emotions trigger unhealthy and destructive consequences. It is then because we are not self-aware. Therefore, those choices bqsed on self-destructive emotions are not objective, indeed, not based upon logic and reason. We thus create a life that has run amuck.

When negative emotions are triggered, these triggers are warning signs for us to look more closely at the issue. This is the positive, the only positive in negative emotions. On the other hand, positive emotions do not require such examination for they do not pose any threat, but positive emotions can provide constructive energy, a catalyst as it were, needed to get things done.

Negative and positive emotions always exist; they flow back and forth like the waves of the ocean, however, being detached from negative emotions and harnessing positive emotions--objectively, will lead us to a powerful array of constructive choices in the present, which move you forwards the future, a future of peace of mind.

  1. What are the steps for gaining peace of mind and achieving your personal goals? Follow these 7 basic steps:

  2. Step back from the provocative situation.

  3. Learn self-awareness: monitor your thoughts, emotions, situation and choices.Fold up your negative emotions and let them go.

  4. Make choices when in a place of emotional and mental calm.

  5. Use your positive emotions to drive your objective.Maintain your peace of mind.

  6. Focus on your objective.

  7. Repeat Steps 1-6 continually until step 6 is attained.

You might ask yourself: does this work? On a personal level, I can say a resounding “YES”! Twelve years ago, I saw a trained John Hopkins psychiatrist, Chief Resident Doctor, Dr. Todd Cox, who stated that I was an out-of-control emotional being with undeveloped logical, rational thinking skills. He further explained that the best combination of these two sides is to place the thinking skills ahead of the emotional skills. Hence the emotional skills would fuel and drive the logic, objective skills to bring about optimum results.

I have spent the past twelve years researching this topic called emotional control. What I have shared with you is no-nonsense practical information with steps that work from my personal experience. I was a person who once displayed fiery anger, because I didn’t possess constructive problem-solving skills to express myself as a self-controlled person when dealing with others.

It was so bad that grown men, yes, men, were scared of me. Today, I am thrilled to declare that I haven’t heard a man say that to me in years; more importantly, when I get into a challenging circumstance, I handle myself with grace, poise and aplomb. I demonstrate strong conflict management skills. And, in turn, I possess peace of mind when under fire. When I fall short, I learn from the event; dust myself off; and perfect the never-ending process of self-control and self-mastery.

The greatest gift of mastering emotional control is my strong sense of personal self-esteem when dealing with others. I conquered the temper demons within me and won. I am the winner! Well worth all the personal work. I challenge you to be your own champion. Become the winner that you are!

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